Back to School!

I was walking back to the tube station along with Manny when he suddenly asked, ’So how does it feel like…getting back to school?’.

Honestly, I was unprepared to answer that question. It was something I myself dreaded to ask my conscience.

Doing my masters’ in London happened quite by chance. I never really wanted a postgraduate degree to tell me what to do with my life. But alas, it was the only way I could start over, so here I am. Alone, all by myself & armed with nothing but a fake smile which I am forced to flash for the rest of the day…the same way I started my undergrad 8 years. Only things were different back then.

When I was 18, I never went around asking people if I could add them on facebook or linkedin.
When I was 18, I never had trouble remembering names no matter how weird they got.
When I was 18, my classmates knew I was one of them when they saw me gawking at a girl’s ass, not because I had an opinion to share about the markets.
When I was 18, I had the liberty to punch a guy in his face & could expect the same from him.
I am now 25…a seemingly better man than what I was 8 years ago…but feeling claustrophobic than ever. Growing up to a mature outlook has never been such a pain in the ass.

A great deal of academic institutions give importance to classroom diversity. Apart from the global perspective of classroom participation, there is an underlying (or rather much superficial) motive to let people network across hemispheres. I had a very dear senior of mine who said it would be an experience of a lifetime.

But with so much of emphasis on ‘networking’ & beer weekends, I ask myself ‘How many of them are actually willing take a walk with me instead?’, ‘How many would rather choose to count the stars with me & still not get bored?’ & more importantly ‘How many would be willing to act as my wingman to ask my crush out for dinner?’.
I doubt if there would be any. Why?
Cuz we are supposed to be big boys (& girls)!

Since when did making friends become that difficult? Or am I really making friends out here?
Have I reached a stage where I am diminished to a stage of an asset where people are willing to invest their time subject to ‘returns’?

No wonder people need a software to keep track of who I am & what I do.

I had the courage to admit to Helen that of all the people I had added in facebook in the last few days, fewer actually gave a f*** about me.

She just smiled.
Perhaps she knew what I meant. Perhaps she agreed with me on some level.
I am guessing it is probably the same with each of our friends on facebook.
Looks like we have been trying too hard to diminish ‘genuine’ human interactions.